Gourrigan's Island

& Warrior Saturn present:

Catboy the Mighty part 7: The Spring Special

 

              It's a fairly peaceful day on Gourrigan's Island. The snow leftover from the Christmas special has finally begun to melt, thanks to the technological advancements by Sylphiel and Kanzal in the past months. With the climate back to relative normalcy the cast and crew begin to dig themselves out of their huts and otherworldly vortexes to enjoy the great outdoors once again.

               However Sylphiel and Filia can't resist throwing one last snowball of the season, both of which whack a very tired and cranky Lina in the back of the head. The redheaded sorceress spins around, her eyes glowing, a blood red aura forming around her as steam comes from her nostrils.

 

Lina: "Are you looking to get Dragon Slaved into next month, because if you are you dialed the correct number."

 

Filia: "Relax Miss Lina. We just want to have a little bit of fun while there is still some snow on the ground."

 

Zelgadis: "At the rate it's melting you had better hurry. A foot of snow has already been reduced to water in the past ten minutes, and it's melting at an incredible rate."

 

              The cast and crew take notice of the large amount of water they are now wading through, and just how cold it feels through their boots. Lina bursts into flames and begins to cast Fireballs left and right, melting more of the snow and heating the water to jacuzzi and hot spring temperatures.

              From a nearby dimensional vortex step the fanfic writer known as the Queen of Swords, the guest writer called Warrior Saturn, and the co-guest writer called Delwynndwn Siele. They look around at the chaos the island is in and sigh, since all three know that it's usually nothing good.

 

Del: "It looks like we caught them on a good day."

 

              QoS and WS look at Del with raised eyebrows.

 

WS: "How can you tell it's a good day?"

 

Del: "Lina has yet to fire off a Dragon Slave and create yet another crater on the map of the island."

 

QoS: "Well, I guess that's a good thing."

 

              Xellos blinks in, his arms wrapped around the Queen of Swords in a loving embrace. However the queen knows that the Mazoku priest hasn't had any loving for the last three months and body slams him into the ground.

 

QoS: "Xellos, I love you dearly, but when you caress me in that manner in public I think it's time you get some punishment."

 

              The Queen then proceeds to whip off her robe to reveal she is wearing a black leather outfit beneath it. She pulls out a long whip, straps on the anime bondage mask, and proceeds to go Tira Misu on the priest's posterior. WS and Del sigh before literally floating over to where the rest of the cast is, since the beach is now a pool.

 

WS: "So, whose bright idea was it to melt the polar ice caps?"

 

Amelia: "Mister Alex, that's not funny. Miss Sylphiel and Mister Kanzel simply fixed the island's climate after your little incident during the Christmas episode."

 

              A large sweat drop forms on the head of the fanfic writer. Delwynndwn snickers for a moment before finding himself upside down in the water, several large snowballs shoved down the back of his pants for good measure. He manages to right himself moments before a large glacier plants itself where his head was moments earlier. He looks up to see a blonde haired girl of 16 dressed in white clothes and another blonde of about the same age, the second one clad in a fur bikini.

 

Ayla: "Darn. Fuzzy elfy moved so glacier no hit him."

 

Marle: "Don't worry Ayla. We can keep trying to hit him."

 

              The cast and crew look at the two newcomers with raised eyebrows. They then look at WS, who has a large sweat drop form on his head.

 

WS: "A hahahahahahahaha..... I was on a Chrono Cross kick, and I had played Chrono Trigger several hundred times so I figured it was time to bring in some guests."

 

              Lina and Zelgadis look at him with death glares. They turn back to see Filia, Amelia, and Naga having a nice conversation with Ayla and Marle. Delwynndwn takes that moment to hide behind WS, who begins to back towards a nearby portal.

 

Zelgadis: "So, just why are you here? Don't tell me... it's time for another special."   WS and Del nod.

 

Lina: "Just what type of special is this one? The fall special was a disaster, and the Christmas special fell apart almost right away. And if there are any little kids involved I swear I'll stick a Ragna Blade someplace VERY uncomfortable!"

 

              Del and WS look at one another and shudder at the thought of the sorceress and the results of her temper on the normal human anatomy.

 

Del: "It's a spring special. It's more of Alex's idea than mine.... but I sorta influenced him."

 

WS: "Yeah. We were hanging out during Spring Break and came up with an idea of what the cast and crew could be doing for spring. And some of the material was so funny that the fuzzy elf here..."

 

              WS is silenced as Del stuffs a large rice ball into his mouth, which he quickly devours.

 

Del: "So... who's up for a trip to my family's farm that had just recently been sold?"

 

              Zelgadis, Lina, Gourrigan, Xellos, the Queen of Swords, Martina, and Rezo instantly dash through the portal. Amelia, Sylphiel, and Filia have to be dragged off, leaving Kanzal, Naga, Zangalus, and three very confused elves with the job of cleaning up the island and the wastewater from the snowfall.

 

Marle: "So.... where do we begin?"

 

Tenal: "I have no idea, but I should probably change into something other than leather."

 

              Rune and Cennarian nod. Ayla takes that moment to start sniffing at Tenal.

 

Tenal: "Hey... what is your problem? HEY! Stop licking my pants."

 

Ayla: "You smell like food. You must be good to eat."

 

              Tenal is then chased by a very hungry Amazon, leaving the others to wonder what the heck they got themselves into by getting out of bed that morning.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              In a privately owned pocket dimension, which is normally inhabited by the master of chaos and confusion himself, a small army of Bishounen was undertaking the task of spring-cleaning. Quatre and Trowa were allocated with the job of laundry and airing of clothing. Cid and Vincent were taking up the task of bundling up magazines for storage. Tasuki and Tamahome were cleaning out the attic and storage areas of the pocket dimension. Irvine and Seifer were cleaning out under Alex's bed, and some of what they found was horrific, leaving Laguna and Squall to clean out the fridge.

              As Laguna opened the door, or tried to open the door, a strange odor began to file forth from the opening. Laguna called Squall over to check it out, and as he opened the door further the smell began to get stronger. By now Seifer and Irvine had come out from beneath the bed enough to catch a whiff of what was leaking from the fridge, and joined the others in investigating what it was. By now Laguna was ready to open the door the entire way, and as he did so all four backed up from the sheer revulsion of what was sitting in the fridge.

              Half an hour and much grunting later the fridge was set adrift in subspace, chains binding it shut, a protection and lock spell keeping it so, and a note attached saying, "Do not, under any circumstances, open this refrigerator for fear of releasing something that is not meant to live."

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              On the other end of the portal the cast and crew of Gourrigan's Island stepped into a large barnyard, complete with cows which possessed the heads of David Moo, an industrial sized field for growing crops and whatnot, several chickens which looked remarkably like Teebo, the Mazoku which nearly killed them in Rezo's laboratory so many years ago, and the classic barnyard smell. The cast then commenced wandering about the farmyard, checking out the animals and whatnot.

 

Amelia: "Miss Lina, what did I just step in? It's all soft and squishy and now it smells really rank."

 

Lina: "Well Amelia, I would have to say you just stepped in a cow patty."

 

Gourrigan: "Patty? Where is the patty? I want a hamburger patty, flame broiled, on a lightly toasted bun with pickles, onions, lettuce, and some special sauce."

 

              Lina and WS club Gourrigan over the head with astral hammers.

 

WS& Lina: "Shut up yogurt brain!"

 

              Meanwhile Zelgadis is having a wonderful conversation with one of the cows. Actually he seems to be arguing with it.

 

Zelgadis: "You are so full of bovine excrement!"

 

              Cow gives him a puzzled look, then looks at the camera.

 

Cow: "Moo?"

 

Delwynndwn: "Miss Lina, could you help to spread the manure over that pasture? We need to fertilize it well before we can do anything with it."

 

              Lina is then pointed in the direction of a very large pile of manure, which looks to be about the size of a barn. She takes a look at the stinking heap of bovine excrement, runs a few calculations through her mind, and finally comes up with the spell required to spread that much manure with a minimum of effort. She assumes a familiar spell-casting stance and begins to chant the words.

 

Lina: "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time. In thy great name let those who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess. Dragon.... SLAVE!"

 

              The result of the spell hitting the pile of manure managed to spread the stinking heap all over the pasture. However there was a big splat, an equally big stink, which was quickly followed up by a VERY big mess as the cast and crew are swept up and covered by a tidal wave of sh*t. Once they manage to dig themselves out everyone seems disgusted by what has transpired.

 

Xellos: "Well, that's one way to spread the fertilizer."

 

Lina: "Shut up Xellos! Fireball!"

 

              Lina's casting of the spell while the cast and crew were still in a stinking mess seemed to have a great consequence, since the fireball ignited the methane gas around them, toasting the entirety of the cast and crew to a cinder.

 

WS& Del: "Ouch."

 

Lina: "Oh boy.... you guys aren't too happy about that one, are you?"

 

Cast -Lina: "NO WAY!"

 

              The cast and crew then proceed to chase Lina around the barnyard, throwing various non - fire elemental spells at her. They finally decide it's time to shower, wash up, and find a change of clothes while theirs goes through the washer, which leads them to another adventure - finding clothes in a farmhouse.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              In Saturn's pocket dimension the bishies are still working on cleaning things up. By now they've discovered every single last hiding place for dust bunnies. However some of the dust has taken on sentient life and is in the process of attacking some of the bishies.

 

Trowa: "What the hell ARE these things?!"

 

Heero: "They appear to be dust rhinos or some other large wildlife."

 

Quatre: "So why are they attacking us?"

 

              Heero brandishes a Swiffer and points it at the dust wildlife, wiping them up and laughing maniacally as they cling to the powerful cleaning cloth. Several minutes later all of the dust has been gathered and a large bag sits near an exit into subspace, writhing from the contents. Tenal and Cennarian enter, holding the refrigerator that had been recently tossed into subspace.

 

Tenal: "Hey, did you guys lose this? Alex won't be too pleased if you get rid of his fridge."

 

              The other bishies shudder in horror, since the things in the fridge have also taken on sentient life and were trying to attack them and take over the pocket dimension. Before anybody can say anything, though, Cenn has plugged the fridge back in and is preparing to open the door.

 

Heero, Trowa, and Quatre: "Cennarian, don't open the...."

 

              Cenn swings the door open, wondering what everyone is so worried about. A large tentacle emerges from the fridge, wraps itself around the elf's neck, and begins to pull him into the fridge. The three grab hold of the elf and try to pull him free, but even their strength is no match for that of the fridge monster.

 

Tenal: "Spirits of flame, heed my power and obey my call, gather in my hand for a flaming ball. INCINNERATE!"

 

              A wave of flames wash through the area, roasting the inhabitant of the fridge to a cinder while simultaneously cleansing and sanitizing the fridge. Unfortunately Cenn, Trowa, Quatre, and Heero wind up in the blast area and get fried to a cinder as well.

 

Cenn: "What were you saying about that fridge?"

 

Trowa: "Nothing.... nothing at all."

 

Quatre: "At least we got it nice and clean, so Alex will be really surprised when he returns."

 

Tenal: "Which reminds me.... we have a princess and an amazon crashing with us for a few days... or I should say you, since Cenn and I are off to the farm with Rune, so enjoy."

 

              The two elves vanish as the door opens and in steps Marle and Ayla, who look around the apartment in amazement. The amazon instantly scrambles up a bookshelf and curls up on top of it for a nap. Marle sighs and takes a seat by a window into the void, watching the colors and stuff swirl about in interesting designs, leaving the other bishies to wonder what will happen to them next.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              Meanwhile, the rest of the cast is struggling to share the only bathroom in the house.  Most of the cast are only in their underwear, while a few are completely naked, in the kitchen, waiting for whoever is in the shower to hurry up and get out.

 

WS: "Why is there only ONE shower in here?!"

 

Lina: "Yeah!  How the hell do you expect to live with only one shower in this entire house?!"

 

Del: "Well, somehow I managed.  I'm not exactly sure how, but I managed.  But at least there's two at the new house, so there's no problems anymore."

 

              Delwynndwn thus opens a short range portal that leads straight to his parents' house.  He then points to one door that appears in the portal.

 

Del: "There's a shower in that bathroom there.  The other bathroom will be right behind you as you go through the portal.  You'll have to go through my parents' room to get to it though.  Also, since my mom is home, you might want to make sure it's ok with her if you could use the shower in there."

 

              Delwynndwn is suddenly thrown to the ground and stepped on repeatedly as a hoard of people pile through the portal to get to the other two showers before it's too late.  Alex just stands there and laughs at the fuzzy elf.

 

Del: "Ow…. That hurt……"

 

WS: "Heeheeheehaahaahaa!!!!  Hey, want to show me your old room here"

 

              WS winks at Delwynndwn, who promply whips out an astral hammer from Saturn's subspace pocket and smashes it on his head.

 

WS: "Owwww!!!  What was that for???  What did I say?" *looks at Delwynndwn innocently*

 

Del: "I know what you're thinking, you yaoi pervert, and you are not going to get away with it, especially not with so many of the cast members around."

 

              WS looks incredibly hurt at the accusation that he was a yaoi pervert.

 

WS: "But I'm not a pervert." *smiles innocently, a halo glowing over his head*

 

Del: "Bull*beep*. If I know you the minute we're alone you'll..."

 

              Delwynndwn is cut off in mid sentence as Saturn embraces him and kisses him passionately on the lips. A moment later the fanfic writer is barbacued to a smoking crisp by a barrage of lightning bolts.

 

Del: "Like I told you, not now."

 

WS: "Owwwww...."

 

              As Saturn lays in a twitching mass a portal opens, belching out Tenal, Rune, and Cennarian, all shuddering in fear of some force or another. They look at WS and Del, sweatdrops forming on their heads.

 

Tenal: "What did we miss??"

 

Rune: "Or don't we want to know?"

 

              Del looks at Rune, blushing a nice shade of crimson considering how he is dressed, how Saturn's dressed, and everything else in the area. Saturn sits up, rubbing his head as he looks at the three new comers.

 

WS: "Why are you guys here? I thought you were gonna be cleaning up the island after the melting of the polar ice caps."

 

Tenal: "We were going to, but...."

 

Cenn: "Ayla began to lick his leather and chased him around thinking he was food. We decided to leave them in the care of Irvine, Seifer, Orion, and Tasuki, not to mention the others in the pocket dimension."

 

              A large sweatdrop forms on Saturn's forehead, and Del looks like he's about to explode from containing laughter.

 

Rune: "So, Del, were you planning some sort of towel party or something?"

 

Del: "Umm... ahhh.... errr..... ahh...."

 

              A very wet and half naked Filia steps out of the bathroom, clad only in a large fluffy pink towel. She looks at the two towel clad guest writers, the three elves, screams, brandishes her mace, and smashes the four men over the heads with it, leaving them in a twitching heap on the ground. Rune looks at Filia, a large sweatdrop forming on her forehead.

 

Rune: "Oooooo... kay. I'm not getting involved."

 

Filia: "Good. I'm going to go and find some clothes. When those guys wake up please tell them that they are damned lucky I didn't send them into orbit for looking at me like that."

 

              Filia walks off after hitching her mace back under her towel. Rune looks at her, a large sweatdrop forming on her head. Rune sighs, then looks at the four unconscious men.

 

Rune: "It's going to be a LONG day, isn't it."

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              Meanwhile, back on the island, Seifer, Irvine, Tasuki, and Trowa, along with help from Ayla and Marle, begin the cleanup of the island with large squeegies, buckets, and mops the size of a palm tree. Ayla is holding one of these mops, and is having fun dashing back and forth with the mop. The other five with her are all soaked from Ayla's splashings, and the tidal waves the amazoness creates keep making a mess of where they had just dried.

 

Irvine: "Oh man.... my ammunition's all wet. It'll never work now."

 

Seifer: "Well, all of my clothes are soaked as well, and I'm not complaining."

 

              Irvine glares at Seifer, blowing a few strands of wet hair from his face.

 

Irvine: "We'll settle this later."

 

              Trowa dashes by, pushing a large squeegie before him as he moves a wave of water towards a drain into subspace. Ayla comes dashing from the other direction, catching him in her wake and washing him into a deeper pool of ice water. He emerges, his bangs plastered to his face, kelp sticking out of his hair, and a squid stuck to his head.

 

Trowa: "All right! This has got to stop! Won't somebody tell her to go in the right direction?!"

 

Marle: "Easier said than done honey. Ayla doesn't listen too well when it interfears with her fun."

 

              A sweatdrop forms on Trowa's head, knocking the squid loose. He stands and wrings the water out of his hair, which promptly sticks out on all sides in a punk style. Ayla looks at him, stops, and dashes towards him.

 

Ayla: "Crono! Crono! You come back to Ayla Crono!!"

 

              Trowa blinks at her and ducks back into the water. The squid pops out for a brief appearance, and upon seeing the amazoness, ducks back into the water and hides with Trowa. Ayla overshoots her target and goes rolling into the bushes. The others sigh, sweatdrops forming on their heads.

 

Marle: "Wow... that was interesting."

 

Irvine: "To say the least."

 

              He nods his head, rivulets of water running down is face and splashing off of the brim of his hat. Seifer takes the hat, brushes the water off, and places it back on the cowboy's head.

 

Seifer: "Are we almost done?"

 

Tasuki: "If everyone would move away from the water I could try to boil it off."

 

              Everyone steps onto what remains of dry land as Tasuki brandishes his tessen (ie. big honking fan) and waves it about.

 

Tasuki: "Rekka... SHIEN!!"

 

              Flames leap from the tessen, striking the water and bringing it to the boiling point rather quickly. Steam begins to rise, which is good for the water level, but bad for those standing on shore. As the steam clears everyone has a nice new perm, courtesy of Tasuki and his magical fire fan. Even fangboy himself has a nice curly perm.

 

Tasuki: "HEY! Don't call me fang boy!"

 

narrator: "Don't argue with the person reading the script, fangboy!"

 

              Tasuki hrumps, and a moment later he is set upon by three unhappy young men and a rather peeved princess, who bind, gag, and drag him off toward the ice cold ocean for a fresh dunking. Ayla pops out of the brush a moment later, her fur bikini several sizes too small following the blast of fire. She notices the two censor boxes which have materialized before growling and bounding off after the others.

 

Ayla: "Come back. Ayla falling out of top because of fire haired pyroboy!!"

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Meanwhile, back on the farm, everyone had finally finished taking their showers, including two of the four men who were knocked unconscious courtesy of Filia and her mace.  However, everyone was still clad in towels, for their clothes were still in the washing machine, which suddenly start to bang loudly.  Delwynndwn glares at the washing machine, then kicks it.  The washing machine growls loudly at Delwynndwn, who promptly forms a ball of lightning in one hand.  The washing machine then ceases its growling and proceeds to finish washing the laundry siliently.

 

Lina: "Wow… I never thought a washing machine would have so much personality."

 

Del: "Yeah, it does, though it tends to misbehave every once in a while."

 

              The washing machine suddenly begins to vibrate somewhat violently, and the top flips open.  Before anyone has a chance to react, clothes start flying out of it, most of them splattering into Delwynndwn, since he was still right in front of it.  Along with the clothes came the water that still had a high concentration of cow crap, including a few lumps of it.  After the washing machine puked its contents out on Delwynndwn and the rest still in front it, it began performing a somewhat amazing Technicolor Yawn, especially since all sorts of colorful stuff began flying out of it.

 

Del: "Ewwwwww…. I think I'm going to be sick."

 

Lina: "Yeah, you've got that right…….    Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows….."

 

              Everyone looks at Lina in shock and begin to panic, except Delwynndwn, who was actually charging up for an attack of his own.  Everyone immediately begin to flee from the building, across the road, and to the farthest side of the cornfield and then towards the newer house.  Meanwhile, back at the old house……

 

Del: "Hey Lina, feel like a double whammy?"

 

Lina: "Sounds good to me!  DRAGON SLAVE!!!"

 

Del: "TEMPEST STORM!!!"

 

              A beam of dark energy and thousands of enhanced lighting bolts struck the washing machine simultaneously, wiping it out of existence in a matter of seconds.  However, a nice big chunk of the house ended up being taken along with it.  Moments after the explosion, bits and pieces of cloth began falling down, some large enough to be recognizable as someone's clothing.  One piece lands in Delwynndwn's hand, which he looks at and recognizes quite easily.

 

Del: *blushing* "Umm… I think this is yours Lina…."

 

              The piece that landed in his hand happened to be a part of what was left of Lina's bra.

 

Lina: "Hey!!  What do you think you're doing you pervert?!  FIREBALL!!"

 

              And thus Delwynndwn becomes a roasted elf.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< ~~~^\-_-/^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              Meanwhile, back at the farm, Alex has since found some better clothes to change in to, thanks to his link to subspace. He has also found some clothes for Del, though the clothes are a tad on the large side. The Slayers still aren't back from the newer house yet, and chances are they wouldn't be back for a while.

 

Del: "So.... now what do we do? The rest of our cast haven't returned from the showers yet."

 

Alex (face buried in screen of laptop): "I'm planning on doing a little bit of landscaping."

 

Del: "Oh? How so?"

 

Alex: "I'm using a landscaping program which Washu gave me. It plugs into pseudospace and acts like an imaging program. It copies a location and pastes it to a new location."

 

Del: "Really. What are you planning on doing?"

 

              The ground rumbles for a couple of seconds before one of the larger fields suddenly gains what looks like the woods out behind the University of New Hampshire in Durham. Del looks out the nearest window and blinks in awe, since the entrances to the woods are near the house.

 

Del: "Wow.... that's amazing. Why did you do that anyway?"

 

              Alex snaps his fingers and is instantly wearing a green t-shirt with a band logo on it, black jogging shorts, running shoes, and has his walkman in hand with the earphones he uses for running wrapped around the back of his head and on his ears. He's also wearing a set of wrap around shades, more of a visor.

 

Alex: "I sorta need to burn off some stress and stuff, and College Woods is wonderful for bounding. Besides, I'm part wood elf, and that helps me to keep on my feet while I'm bounding."

 

Del: "Can I go with you?"

 

Alex: "You should stay here for when the others return. They still need to find some clothes."

 

Del (pouting): "Oh, all right. But come back in one piece."

 

              Alex gives a thumbs up before turning his walkman on and bounding out of the house.

              Once the fanfic author is in the woods he kicks up the volume of his walkman, the tune of 'Oh Micky, You're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind, hey Micky!' wafting through the air from his earphones. As he gains altitude in the woods 'Rhythm Emotion' comes on and he increases his speed. Finally, 'Sonic Boom' comes on and he burns off the last of his stressful energy, leaving a dust trail in his wake.

 

Alex: "From the dark, to the light, it's a super sonic flight. Gotta keep it going...."

 

              As he screams around a corner several vines from nearby trees snake down and wrap around his legs, tripping him and pulling him into the air. He clicks off his walkman and drops it back into subspace before looking around with a look on his face to kill.

 

Alex: "All right! I know there is somebody out there who's looking to have their arses kicked so hard that they'll kiss the moons!"

 

female voice #1: "So right, young warrior of the stars. However, you are the one who is captured and we are the ones who shall exact our revenge."

 

Alex: "Oh brother."

 

female voice #2: "Say Eudial, are you ready to snatch his heart crystal for Doctor Tomoe and Master Pharoah 90?"

 

female voice #1: "Yes Mimmet, I'm ready to use my Fire Buster Mark 4 for this little jaunt. What say we teach him a lesson he'll never forget!"

 

female voice #3: "Hey, don't I get any credit for this? Those ARE my vines you're using afterall."

 

female voice #2: "Ok Tellu, you get some credit. Now, let us finish him off."

 

              By now Alex has been worked into a steaming rage, since his jogging has been so rudely interrupted. However, before he can do anything, an energy beam fires from a nearby bush, striking him in the chest and propelling his heart crystal out his back. He screams in pain as his life begins to leave his body, and his crystal changes shape into a talisman bracer of gold with a large violet jewel with a star and crescent moon engraved upon it.

 

female voice #1: "Wow..... what a catch. We've found the legendary Star Crystal armlet."

 

female voices #2 and 3: "Let's grab it and return to Doctor Tomoe!"

 

              Three shadowy female forms leap from the bushes, grab the talisman, and vanish into a vortex in subspace, leaving Alex suspended in midair, tied up in the vines.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

              Meanwhile, in Strout Hall, which is still floating about in subspace, Tsunami finally gives up playing Counter-Strike against a bunch of bots.  He quits out of the game, goes out to the hall, and to the window at the end near Delwynndwn's room.

 

Tsu: "Hmmm…. I should probably get back to work on this.  Ever since Del somehow got all of Strout stuck in subspace….hmmmm…"

 

              Suddenly, a stream of ice cold water hits Tsunami in the back of the head.  He spins around to see Bob with a water gun.  Bob squirts Tsunami a couple more times as Tsu rushes by.  Tsunami dives back into his room for a second, then leaps back out with two water guns and spare water clips.  He had modified both water guns to hold more water and use clips.  Thus, he engages in combat with Bob, and soon both are literally running across the walls in the hallway, trying to hit each other, but failing.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^\-_-/^ ^\-_-/^ ^\-_-/^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              Back at the farmhouse and the interconnecting dimensional portals the cast were in the process of trying to find something suitable to wear, the keywords being "something" and "suitable" since most of what they found in the attic was moth ridden and half devoured by something or other. Lina was still grumbling about the destruction of the washing machine and kept throwing angry glances over at Delwynndwn, who was busy picking through boxes of his old clothes. Rune, Tenal, and Cenn had since abandoned ship back to the island, leaving everyone else to fend for themselves.

              As they continued to dig through boxes and bundles they heard a somewhat familiar female voice.

 

voice: "This fic is now rated H for hentai content. All young readers must abandon story before it's too late!"

 

Zelgadis *twitches* "Oh dear god no. Not her. Not now!!"

 

Del *perks ears up* "That sounds remarkably like...."

 

              A portal opens and out bounds a skimpily clad catgirl with long dark hair and a bubbling personality. In a flash she's glomped Zelgadis and is clinging to him, even though he's clad only in a towel.

 

catgirl: "Mister Zelgadis, I've missed you so much." *rubbing head against Zel's naked chest* "Wow.... you're not completely rock hard.... you feel warm and soft and smooth and rough and...."

 

              The catgirl looks up to see a second catgirl and a young man with long blonde hair and a very unique hat step from the portal.

 

catgirl #2: "Sadie, we told you to keep up with us."

 

Sadie: "Sorry Bekka... but I just HAAAAAD to glomp my Zelgadis."

 

Zel: "Since when have I become yours?"

 

Sadie *batting eyes* "Since I branded you sweetie *points to Zel's calf, where there's a kittyface emblazoned* So you're mine."

 

Bekka: "Sadie, stop glomping him. He's... not completely dressed... and it's embarrassing."

 

young man: "She's right Sadie. We can't take you anywhere, not after the last time we visited."

 

Sadie *pouting* "But Jason...."

 

Jason: "No buts. Do you want me to turn this portal around and take us home right now?!"

 

              Filia, Sylphiel, and Lina step up to join Bekka and Jason.

 

Lina: "Think we could use that Sonic Cough attack on her again?"

 

              Bekka shakes her head.

 

Bekka: "Can't."

 

Filia: "Why not?"

 

Bekka: "Not sick."

 

              The other three face fault.

 

              By now Sadie's noticed Delwynndwn is there and moves on to glomping the elf, who's also clad only in a towel. Del blushes crimson and prays that something will kill him before the fic turns from citris to lemony hentai.

 

Sadie: "Del sempai!! It's been so long since we've seen each other!!"

 

Del: "It's... umm... nice to see you again Sadie."

 

new female voice: "Delwynndwn Siele, what the hell is happening right now?!"

 

Del *big sweatdrop* "Oh *beep*."

 

              A portal opens, belching forth another young woman, this one also with long dark hair, but with big blue eyes and a bad temperment. She glares at Sadie, then looks at Del, then notices the other half naked people in the room. She giggles evilly and proceeds to pull out a laptop.

 

girl: "This is going to be fun. Everyone's ready for an orgy of immense proportions."

 

Del: "Quill, you might want to delay that thought."

 

Quill: "But this is a spring special, isn't it?"

 

              The cast and crew nod.

 

Quill: "Well, doesn't mating happen in the spring?"

 

              Sweatdrops all around.

 

Del: "We're sorta, well, waiting for our guest writer to return from his jog through the woods out back."

 

QoS: "Yeah.... MY guestwriter."

 

              More sweatdrops all around.

 

QoS: "Ok, ok. My guestwriter, who happens to be one heck of a guestwriter, and his enlisted help of several co guestwriters."

 

Del: "Better."

 

Lina: "Wait... you said something about woods out back."

 

              Del nods.

 

Del: "Something that he did using a program he got from Professor Washu. He copied and pasted some woods from the university directly into the back yard."

 

              Lina sighs and rubs her temples.

 

Lina: "I swear that one of these days Saturn's gonna get into trouble doing something like that."

 

              Filia, who has left the rest of the group, has since located some clothes for herself that aren't as moth ridden or chewed up as other things in the room. She steps out wearing a very short flannel top and a pair of cutoff jean shorts that look like she was poured into them. Her mace is strapped over her shoulder instead of to her thigh, since she doesn't have long robes to hide it.

 

Filia: "Well, how do I look?"

 

              Kanzal is by her side in the blink of an eye.

 

Kanzal: "You look ravashing."

 

              Filia screams and mallets the mazoku over the head, then brandishes it at the other men in the room.

 

Filia: "Don't get any ideas you perverts!!"

 

              The men sweatdrop and resume their search for clothes, except Delwynndwn, who opens up a portal and jumps through it, dragging Quill along with him, and closing the portal after they're through.

 

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >^.^< >^.^< >^.^< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

              In the corner of subspace known as Strout, a portal opens in room 303, dumping Del and Quill onto Del's bed, Quill landing on top and her knee accidentally crushing his testes.

 

Del: "Oowwwwiiiieee!!!"

 

Quill: "Eep!  Sorry!!"

 

              Quill quickly rolls off Del, who immediately curls up into a tight ball, holding the injured area.  Quill then holds Del tightly in a loving embrace.

 

Quill: "Are you going to be ok?"

 

Del: "Ummm… yeah, I think so… give me a couple minutes…."

 

Quill: *giggling* "Ok, if you say so."

 

              Del sticks his tongue out at Quill, and does a raspberry.  Quill giggles some more, then suddenly begins to kiss Del passionately.  For several minutes, both are in a passionate embrace.  Afterwards, Del jumps out of bed, and pops his head out the door, just to get his face splashed by a stream of water from Bob.

 

Del: "Bob, you're dead…"

 

              Del quickly pops back into his room, then seconds later leaps out with a huge water gun that easily puts Bob's to shame.

 

Del: "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!"

 

              Del pulls the trigger, unleashing a torrent of waves at Bob, sending him down the hall and into the stairwell, the water pushing Bob down to the bottom.  Del releases the trigger, and looks over to Tsunami, who happens to be completely soaked.  He had apparently managed to grab a hold of one of the door handles before Del had pulled the trigger on his water gun.

 

Del: "Ooops… sorry about that Trama…"

 

Tsu: "No problem… no problem at all….."

 

              At this point, Quill, steps out of the room, and can't help but giggle at the scene of the hallway that has become a river slowly going down.  Del looks at her, and forms an evil smile on his face, along with a bit of evil giggling.

 

Quill: "I don't think so!  You're not even wet!"

 

Del: "So?"

 

Quill: "Do it and I'll castrate you."

 

Del: *sweatdrop, puts gun away* "Ok, I won't!  Sorry!"

 

Quill: *giggling more* "It's ok love."

 

Del: "Umm.. ok…"

 

Tsu: "So, you brought your girlfriend over finally, huh?"

 

Del: *scratches back of neck* "Yeah…"

 

Tsu: "Cool.  By the way, what happened to you guys in Counter-Strike?  You mysteriously lagged out and eventually dropped."

 

Del: *nervous laughter* "Oh… uh.. well, Rune was pretty pissed off and our computers ended up a little bit on the crispy side."

 

Tsu: "Ah, that would explain why everything was extra crispy after you guys finally dropped out."

 

Del: "So, have you worked on how we're going to get Strout back into Concord yet?"

 

Tsu: "Nope.  Did start thinking about it, but then Bob came around… and you can guess what happened from there."

 

Del: "Ah."

 

              By this point, Quill is nudging Del playfully.  Del looks over to her, questioningly.  Quill start tugging on his shirt, motioning him back to his room.

 

Del: "Uh… ummm….." *blush*

 

Quill: "What is it?"

 

Del: "Welllll.... ummmm…."

 

Tsu: "Well, have fun you two."